engage
lars larson
hate mail
media valable
not a media junkie
not a corporate media junkie
tough guys
jackson katz
exposure level to media
what is your relationship?
what kinds what level of filter?
how much?
violent masculinity
expectations of men changing to be more violent in constructed expectation of identity
things media does to effect people
symbiotic relatinship with the media
conference
media
TV?
democracy now---!!!!!!!
no TV?
deutsche welle
radio france international
to build language skills
freind listens to al-jazeera
NYT
financial times
BBC
london school of economics podcasts
british colonialism bias yet more international than amerian media
NPR racist and sexist
over it!!!!
especially in the obama hilary run-off
media literacy
becoming literate in the field
television (media) helps to create what we expect of ourselves and of others and what constitutes standards of civilized society
foreign films
classic films from 1940s
documentaries
michael moore
terry tafoya
humanizing element of our species is to exchange stories
he is discredited due to deception
http://www.iaia.edu/nep/courses/indig1/knowledge/readings/rr10know_Tafoya.htm
wild kingdom brought to you by our sponsor
programming brought to you by th eadvertiser.
we are brought to the advertising by the program
media age
sales go up due to exciting program
think of ads in magazine fashion, how the ads dominate the content
fashion.net subverted the pyramid inaugurating the democratization of the vogue-dominated industry
see the september issue.
someone should make documentary of stig
michael lerner
just theory
everything good
good things happen to good people
karmic sublimation
how we tell the story
effects the common structure
fur coat
marlboro ads
corporate medias one
free press.org
viacom
CBS
newscorp
disney
GE
viacom
other countries report things differently
other sources cover the same story differently
manufactured idea of reality
children
the TV is not true
a shock that he did not know!!!!
media literacy
hour lunch only!!!!!!
conflict resolution
as a field how it has changed
as a professsional field
15-16 yrs ago it started as a community collaboration
the starting
of this program
mediation evolved as something that atorneys became interested in
clogging up the courts---rather than clog the legal system
a movement of attorneys
something that exists informally
as a way to license their conflicts, remember the conflict management continuum
before engage the formality of the legal process
highlly skilled practitioners as attorneys
com. volunt.
as activists
instead of engaging more formal methods
atty
and comm volunteers
as it emerged as an academic discipline
bc so interdisciplinary
the larger umbrella
whether it is really its own discipline
but there was also concern that a masters CR program would create a glut of masters in CR people
highly skilled
5 cents mediation
people wont avail themselves of this
we hire attorneys
but we dont yet have a professional class of mediators
encourage people to do a masters
these are skills that will augment yr skills
labor of love
this has changed over yrs
marked change
now work in field in many ways
HR
skill set
and then go back to former field---but some find jobs in comm services and comm developmt
and develop
policy
solutions
comm develop
specific issues
water rts
education joint degree with masters CR
student CR in k-12
international develop
conflict
uscid
mercy
intl develop
across boarders
transforming
politics
DC
field of conflict experts
state dept
paramilitary
fed govt
working for good and evil
working for peace and for war
its funny bc its friday
peace activism
nonviolence
groups mobilize concerned citizens
professional phenomenon.
working in the field
still valuable
child protective services
fist thesis
DHS mediation with families
biased facilitation of process
they needed skilled mediators to make sure students needs were being met
two dozen students employed
program started by a CR student
justice served
unbiased third party
hybrid version
study of space
lighting
feng shui
!!!!!!
coloration
conflictual postures looking at eachother
is table a circle or a square
luxury of a space
be aware of how space and color and design influence things
ground rules
review process of mediation
one party goes first
fifteen or five minutes
charged
overtly angry
this is why you are here
this is what is going on.
i heard you say
listening skills as a mediator
questions
clarifying questions
ask if they understood the other person
investigate that
discussion
why everyone is there
brainstorm solutions
underlying interests
reach an intermediate agreement other parties
even if it is not fianl
and hav a closinging
responsibilities of mediator
listen
do not roll their eyes
we go to help bc we are stuck
put judgement voices on hold
create capacity for them to listen
if they could listen to each other they could also use your help
clarify communication thru active listening
primary skills as a mediator
is to ask Q
open ended Q
draw out.
why feel that way.
or closed ended Q to quiet down
sounds like yr frustrated.
yeah.
is this an issue we are here to take on?
primary concern.
change
other thing?
safe engaged and willing . . .
mediation is only effective when . . .
if you are not willing to engage
then do you need time
should we break for 10 minutes
caucusing
how about if we take a break
i meet with you for 5
and you for 5
and see if it is volatile too much so
shuttle diplomacy
too volatile
caucus
shuttle diplomat
non-groovy
facts rather than transformation
bc things are too volatile
this is all you can get---
up from avoidance
power differential
romantic partnership pro and anti dog
ownership vs. friend
allergy
socialization
dog food
hypoallergenic
vegan dog food
allergy resistant dog breeds
would you be interested in dogs
not solving the problem
share information
risky
it could seem like you are siding with the person who wants the dog
herbal treatment for allergies
difference of opinion
health
didn’t realize
bioaccumulation
euthanized pets
no reasons
how do you get underneath that
liability--violent dog attack---
not going off focus
triangulation
cat is like their grandchild---they love the grandfather
drives her nuts
important to---looking for someone
love and appreciate
work at a dog shelter
creative possibilities!!!!
nonviolent communication
we have human needs universal
but unique ways of meeting the needs
is porn
a way to relate to sexual needs
addiction taking you away from relationship
clever about marshall rosenberg system
pedophilia
needs??????
validation
for sexual abuse as a child
abuse horror on face
looking for validation that pedophilia is wrong
strategy to meet are needs are twisted
curiosity to the process
a lot of different ways to have needs met
how we can get our needs met
in a way that doesn’t get our needs met
find a different way to meet the needs
age of entitlement
if i want it, i can have it
get the dog
how do you find a different strategy
person harmed by strategy
bias
dog-lover so you know the options
as problem solver
creating a brain storm session
unattached session
curious aspect
toss it in to the mix
here are some ideas
nothing you can do about it
in a friendly conversation you can make a suggestion
common
totally over the top about
a lot of different ways
sounds like you are really upset
do you need to vent yr frustration
focus on the underlying intersts or it could lead to hyperspace
pressing for you
mediations supervised many where there is no way to continue with this mediation
separate
or talk separately
how much stay involved
abusive person in the room
bc abusing the mediator all parties
it was a valuable learning experience
incredible learning experience
opted not to continue to process
resolution, transformation
work through some of these issues
transformative mediation more therapeutic
there could be a therapeutic side
but it is not the job of the mediator
bias
neutrality
western model
neutrality assumed
unbiased
a little problematic bc informal mediation
non-western models of mediation
elder in both parties
we aren’t neutral
we side with one
judgements
even if you don’t want to
mediators have inherent bias
job is to create space for solutions
try not to bias
impartiality not true neutrality
social liberation mediation
argue for the party with less power
if asked you could share
if one is annoying try not to act on that
if there is an immediate bias
it will come out
create space
not in a relationship with these people
i am here to help facilitate
wow--the philosophical aspects of humanity
what are you going to do with this
agree to disagree
isolate and define the problem
parties in conflict after slogging thru the quicksand
of grieving end of a friendship
and
you are her for end of business relationship
need for logistical closure
mutual understanding
job as mediator
frame of reference
what if there is fear of the relationship becoming abusive
caucus
is there a threat
for disclosure
tumultuous needs for parents
but never that sense of danger
victim defender mediation
mediator
identify human needs
silent
underlying needs
get them to recognize themselves
no
keep moving
dont perseverate on
perseverate on
things you ask then
try something else
trying to be a facilitator
hard to remember
problem solving mediation
the opening is there for either one
you are there ostensible to express concerns
comfort
start from a more transformative stance
transform
not what they ask for
certification
for liability
malpractice
no organizing body
hang shingle
for better or worse
jobplace invite in
rules of the org
for mandatory reporting
lars larson
hate mail
media valable
not a media junkie
not a corporate media junkie
tough guys
jackson katz
exposure level to media
what is your relationship?
what kinds what level of filter?
how much?
violent masculinity
expectations of men changing to be more violent in constructed expectation of identity
things media does to effect people
symbiotic relatinship with the media
conference
media
TV?
democracy now---!!!!!!!
no TV?
deutsche welle
radio france international
to build language skills
freind listens to al-jazeera
NYT
financial times
BBC
london school of economics podcasts
british colonialism bias yet more international than amerian media
NPR racist and sexist
over it!!!!
especially in the obama hilary run-off
media literacy
becoming literate in the field
television (media) helps to create what we expect of ourselves and of others and what constitutes standards of civilized society
foreign films
classic films from 1940s
documentaries
michael moore
terry tafoya
humanizing element of our species is to exchange stories
he is discredited due to deception
http://www.iaia.edu/nep/courses/indig1/knowledge/readings/rr10know_Tafoya.htm
wild kingdom brought to you by our sponsor
programming brought to you by th eadvertiser.
we are brought to the advertising by the program
media age
sales go up due to exciting program
think of ads in magazine fashion, how the ads dominate the content
fashion.net subverted the pyramid inaugurating the democratization of the vogue-dominated industry
see the september issue.
someone should make documentary of stig
michael lerner
just theory
everything good
good things happen to good people
karmic sublimation
how we tell the story
effects the common structure
fur coat
marlboro ads
corporate medias one
free press.org
viacom
CBS
newscorp
disney
GE
viacom
other countries report things differently
other sources cover the same story differently
manufactured idea of reality
children
the TV is not true
a shock that he did not know!!!!
media literacy
hour lunch only!!!!!!
conflict resolution
as a field how it has changed
as a professsional field
15-16 yrs ago it started as a community collaboration
the starting
of this program
mediation evolved as something that atorneys became interested in
clogging up the courts---rather than clog the legal system
a movement of attorneys
something that exists informally
as a way to license their conflicts, remember the conflict management continuum
before engage the formality of the legal process
highlly skilled practitioners as attorneys
com. volunt.
as activists
instead of engaging more formal methods
atty
and comm volunteers
as it emerged as an academic discipline
bc so interdisciplinary
the larger umbrella
whether it is really its own discipline
but there was also concern that a masters CR program would create a glut of masters in CR people
highly skilled
5 cents mediation
people wont avail themselves of this
we hire attorneys
but we dont yet have a professional class of mediators
encourage people to do a masters
these are skills that will augment yr skills
labor of love
this has changed over yrs
marked change
now work in field in many ways
HR
skill set
and then go back to former field---but some find jobs in comm services and comm developmt
and develop
policy
solutions
comm develop
specific issues
water rts
education joint degree with masters CR
student CR in k-12
international develop
conflict
uscid
mercy
intl develop
across boarders
transforming
politics
DC
field of conflict experts
state dept
paramilitary
fed govt
working for good and evil
working for peace and for war
its funny bc its friday
peace activism
nonviolence
groups mobilize concerned citizens
professional phenomenon.
working in the field
still valuable
child protective services
fist thesis
DHS mediation with families
biased facilitation of process
they needed skilled mediators to make sure students needs were being met
two dozen students employed
program started by a CR student
justice served
unbiased third party
hybrid version
study of space
lighting
feng shui
!!!!!!
coloration
conflictual postures looking at eachother
is table a circle or a square
luxury of a space
be aware of how space and color and design influence things
ground rules
review process of mediation
one party goes first
fifteen or five minutes
charged
overtly angry
this is why you are here
this is what is going on.
i heard you say
listening skills as a mediator
questions
clarifying questions
ask if they understood the other person
investigate that
discussion
why everyone is there
brainstorm solutions
underlying interests
reach an intermediate agreement other parties
even if it is not fianl
and hav a closinging
responsibilities of mediator
listen
do not roll their eyes
we go to help bc we are stuck
put judgement voices on hold
create capacity for them to listen
if they could listen to each other they could also use your help
clarify communication thru active listening
primary skills as a mediator
is to ask Q
open ended Q
draw out.
why feel that way.
or closed ended Q to quiet down
sounds like yr frustrated.
yeah.
is this an issue we are here to take on?
primary concern.
change
other thing?
safe engaged and willing . . .
mediation is only effective when . . .
if you are not willing to engage
then do you need time
should we break for 10 minutes
caucusing
how about if we take a break
i meet with you for 5
and you for 5
and see if it is volatile too much so
shuttle diplomacy
too volatile
caucus
shuttle diplomat
non-groovy
facts rather than transformation
bc things are too volatile
this is all you can get---
up from avoidance
power differential
romantic partnership pro and anti dog
ownership vs. friend
allergy
socialization
dog food
hypoallergenic
vegan dog food
allergy resistant dog breeds
would you be interested in dogs
not solving the problem
share information
risky
it could seem like you are siding with the person who wants the dog
herbal treatment for allergies
difference of opinion
health
didn’t realize
bioaccumulation
euthanized pets
no reasons
how do you get underneath that
liability--violent dog attack---
not going off focus
triangulation
cat is like their grandchild---they love the grandfather
drives her nuts
important to---looking for someone
love and appreciate
work at a dog shelter
creative possibilities!!!!
nonviolent communication
we have human needs universal
but unique ways of meeting the needs
is porn
a way to relate to sexual needs
addiction taking you away from relationship
clever about marshall rosenberg system
pedophilia
needs??????
validation
for sexual abuse as a child
abuse horror on face
looking for validation that pedophilia is wrong
strategy to meet are needs are twisted
curiosity to the process
a lot of different ways to have needs met
how we can get our needs met
in a way that doesn’t get our needs met
find a different way to meet the needs
age of entitlement
if i want it, i can have it
get the dog
how do you find a different strategy
person harmed by strategy
bias
dog-lover so you know the options
as problem solver
creating a brain storm session
unattached session
curious aspect
toss it in to the mix
here are some ideas
nothing you can do about it
in a friendly conversation you can make a suggestion
common
totally over the top about
a lot of different ways
sounds like you are really upset
do you need to vent yr frustration
focus on the underlying intersts or it could lead to hyperspace
pressing for you
mediations supervised many where there is no way to continue with this mediation
separate
or talk separately
how much stay involved
abusive person in the room
bc abusing the mediator all parties
it was a valuable learning experience
incredible learning experience
opted not to continue to process
resolution, transformation
work through some of these issues
transformative mediation more therapeutic
there could be a therapeutic side
but it is not the job of the mediator
bias
neutrality
western model
neutrality assumed
unbiased
a little problematic bc informal mediation
non-western models of mediation
elder in both parties
we aren’t neutral
we side with one
judgements
even if you don’t want to
mediators have inherent bias
job is to create space for solutions
try not to bias
impartiality not true neutrality
social liberation mediation
argue for the party with less power
if asked you could share
if one is annoying try not to act on that
if there is an immediate bias
it will come out
create space
not in a relationship with these people
i am here to help facilitate
wow--the philosophical aspects of humanity
what are you going to do with this
agree to disagree
isolate and define the problem
parties in conflict after slogging thru the quicksand
of grieving end of a friendship
and
you are her for end of business relationship
need for logistical closure
mutual understanding
job as mediator
frame of reference
what if there is fear of the relationship becoming abusive
caucus
is there a threat
for disclosure
tumultuous needs for parents
but never that sense of danger
victim defender mediation
mediator
identify human needs
silent
underlying needs
get them to recognize themselves
no
keep moving
dont perseverate on
perseverate on
things you ask then
try something else
trying to be a facilitator
hard to remember
problem solving mediation
the opening is there for either one
you are there ostensible to express concerns
comfort
start from a more transformative stance
transform
not what they ask for
certification
for liability
malpractice
no organizing body
hang shingle
for better or worse
jobplace invite in
rules of the org
for mandatory reporting
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