successful indicator of a mediation's success
the willingness of the parties
insist upon being adverserial
hilarity
negative perception to conflict
engage curiosity the other piece
effective conflict resolution---you get do-overs
emotion over skill
capacity to come back
avoidance perfectly good strategy
trust transparency
harnessing strengths
challenging of reality
humility
trust transparency
challenge
real life application
harnessing strengths
question authority
being pushed
paradigm shift
understanding
encouragement
paradigm shift
advocacy
creativity
using visuals
advocacy
immediate application in life
hands-on
research methodology
safespace for risk taking caring
fun
relationship
challenge
subjectivity
respective
applicability
adult learning theory has gained credibility
yonger profs at PSU
newer thinking
academia
professoriate
itellectuals excel at their field not nec. effective teachers----people with doctorates
idiot savants
overdeveloped frontal lobe
can’t tie their shoes
really smart people are unskilled in those ways
test phobias
keep scholarship
teach without testing
radical pedagogy
engaged
critical
relationship
live in a different way
boost self esteem
safety
whole new field
interpersonal neurobiology
higher
reptilian
when afraid a lot we
never develop the circuitry---to the higher thinking functions
if we aare afraid we can’t be serious
engage cognition
alternatives
perfect example
deescalate that child’s fear of reading
stutter
corelation
re education and our role as a student
talk about the readings
linear idea of conflict
trajectory
resolution wanted immediately forget and move on
ongoing phenomenon
marriage
expectation
nonlinear cultures spiral---
human needs theory
needs wants
FAE
fundamental attribution error
conflicts based on thinking pattern
fantasy of why someone did something
pdf---single spaced to give blindness---implies malice---
person is not even thinking about him---he turns it into an affront---pre-jugmental error--
contextualized in someone’s experience---
therapist sets up a safe atmosphere to discuss
very safe questions
multiple lenses---address the immediacy of the conflict---good synthesis
dialectical thinking---multi-facetted jewel--exist harmoniously
high risk communication blockers
friend or coworker
brother sister
disconnect from the trajectory of information
order people threaten people
judge
praise
call names
divert
reassure
transformation
logical arguing
moralizing
threaten
order
name calling
diagnosing
perfectionist, pessimist
reassure: everything will work out
divert: did i tell you about the grasshopper who walks into a bar . . . .
best of intentions . . .
oppression means a whole system
logicentric culture
logical workthru emotions
not the same as a systemic oppresssion . . .
the article speaks to both the underlying interests
they upset the apple cart
help us understand the apple cart
experience of seeing derail process
empathy
marshall rosenberg---i stmts transformed into nonviolent communication system
unsatisfying
foist our brilliance on to others
interfere with our transformational process
our own needs met--anxiety level
ratchet down
empathy
strategies
spotlight on the person who is hurting
well that happened to me---it normalizes the situation but it takes the spotlight off the person in pain
misdirected attempts to placate pacify or console
educate storytell
interrogate explain correct----negate their experience---
give them the space to feel what they feel . . . helping that person be heard . . .
if someone asks what are your underlying interests
nonviolent communication
subliminal stimuli
basic needs
mutual valueing of needs
happiest when giving from the heart
natural needs
system
four steps
key distinctions four step fool proof than i statement
one observation
feeling
three need
four a request
at least two or four courses in nonviolent communication
forty five minutes
nonviolent communication
an observtion
trigger for a reaction
it never ever includes never always etc . . .
lose worthy opponent---identify feelings interp from thoughts feelings--- i feel like . . .
pitfalls in i statements
rejected victimize blamed
happy feelings/sad feelings
when this event happened i felt this way bc these needs were met or not---would you be willing to do something for me . . . connect requests for clarity . . .
know that you have been understood . . . different not a demand---so all of this being said---it can be effective in a variety of ways---create clear and non-confrontational confrontation
effective communication
to use it more fluidly without a formulaic approach
link to needs
really frustrated or angry
contribution
compassion
what they’ve done is not just guess at it
inadvertently validates the process
conflict resolution
cannot force them to engage
if you dont want human interaction---it cant be forced upon you---with an outside situation---putting yr own needs on hold----
make sure sitting down with the seatbelt on
still care about their feelings---conflict is difficult----
mediation texts gives a good description of conflict---formal mediation process---
step outside cycle of blame
hello a convivial gesture . . .
emotional imbalance . . .
fundamental attribution error
weight lifter wants to fight a mom in traffic
volatile conflict
is there something we can do for needs to be met---hurt or sad or frustrated---validate their emotional process---then you can understand what they have to say . . .
real pain
hard not to have yr needs met
empathy
if you are bothered by a person how can you sound authentic without judgment coming out . . . there are times when you do . . .
we presume that other people’s needs are important . . .
twenty reasons . . . the advantage of having facitlity experience and the other underlying needs . . . women taught to cater to other’s needs first . . .
tonight a first reflection paper reflections---conflict transformation article the story for tomorrow
1-2 pages double spaces
a test to assess conflict style . . .
print in your results after this test
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